I'M BACK!!

Wow, so I really dropped off this habit now didn't I? Oops....

Well rest assured, my clamouring fan club, I am back, and hopefully back for good. I think this blog started out as a way for me to chronicle and waste my time alone in Ann Arbor, between the reading of grad school and the dancing, and the adjusting, I figured I would have a lot of time to reflect and get used to being in a new place and a new stage in my life (and I hate writing mass emails). HA. Yea, the reflecting happened, but the "time" really did not, and this year really hit me full force that I really stopped reflecting and chronicling that online.

Though, that reflecting hasn't really stopped. C'mon, it's me, haha. With my first year in grad school about to end in 5 days, it could not be a better time for me to resurface and hopefully continue this little project. (Also that I have a theory paper due in 5 days, that I have 0 pages on, and a research paper due in also 5 days, of which I have 0 pages on....so its the PERFECT time to do a new post!)

..anyways the reflecting..

This year really has been crazy. I've come to adjust to a place and a lifestyle that I never really thought I could adjust to. In reality if I think back on it, I've always had problems with change. Even though I am a "TCK" and am supposed to be fantastic at adapting myself to new places, I really think that being a TCK also gives people a strong sense of cognitive dissonance. The I-fit-in-quite-well-on-the-outsdie feel, but the I-am-so-freakin-confused feel on the inside. What percentage that is attributable to my baseline personality and what is mediated by my TCK life, who knows? It's a little hypothesis of mine...

But I have really grown to enjoy living in Ann Arbor. (stop giving me skeptical looks now). It's a really cute place, and I am definitely starting to enjoy the university, the lifestyle of a grad student, and the freedom to speculate research questions and funny theories all day. Not only just Ann Arbor, but most importantly I think I really made a realization that I have to accept my lifestyle. That my heart belongs on Chicago and but I am physically here. That I want to pursue a career in academics, and I take my work in grad school seriously, but also want to create and express myself through dance. I have learned that life is what it is, and that I am at a period in my life where I don't need answers to many questions, and should just let myself live through the experience. Ironically this realization happened when I was in Chicago for a weekend, attending a crazy slew of dance classes with Boogiezone Chicago (hells yeah). I realized that I could not have both worlds where they are now, had I not moved to Michigan. I would have not have experienced 2xs Michigan, been exposed to so many wonderful and inspirational dancers. I would not have experienced the great cohort of grad students that I entered Michigan with. I would not have had the opportunity to choreograph for 2xs's set at Urbanite this spring, as well as be allowed to pursue my own brand of quantitative sociology, demography, medical sociology, health and aging.....(hmmm still working on that one there...)

Speaking of Urbanite....I have to put this in my blog:




Blood sweat and tears, but the product and the experience of Urbanite, totally worth it.

also...2xs...my people....I cannot even imagine what my life in Ann Arbor woudl be like without it. I thought about it, and realized that I have had quite a history of making friends through dance. It's something that I started doing in 6th grade and never stopped. In high school, my closest friends were all dancers. Our friendship was reinforced by the outside classes we took together, the endless hrs of rehearsals we had, and just the large number of hours we spent in the studio and out, goofing off. I realized that that is the way I make friends. I am used to that space. So when I came to Ann Arbor, I knew it was essential that I join a dance group, since, really, I'm pretty awkward outside of that, haha.

A year of 2xs through pictures. :)
watching america's best dance crew at ericas....
Future Exec and Co-artistic Director!
Yes, we met Team Millenia, wobz was AWESOME,such an inspirational dancer...
we chilled with Justin and Joey from ASIID the two most awesome and inspirational dancers out there, not to mention so chill and friendly and funny!
1 2xs...HOT MESS: LOVE YOU GUYS....
Performing DanceMix / Detroit set at the power center:
Baby Mama, Mina!!! I miss you!!

So 2xs was a big part of the year, but even though my life was primarily dance, I *did* have a life outside of dance. (maybe i'm deluding myself). i could not ask for a more bomb cohort. Yes, we say cohort here. It means GROUP of people who start something at the same time (ie. grad school) and not a groupie fan group. (some ppl thought that). I have so much respect for every person in here, and am really honored really to be in part of the same group. Not to mention, we really know how to have fun. :)

some pictures:
Elyse, Dan, and I at post Cabaret drinks in Ypsi....oh Cabaret...what an experience...
Some of the cohort at Emily Bosk's birthday:

And to end the year in pictures, its been nice to know that even though I am in a new place, I always have my old networks and friends that I can turn to.
MMSS coming up for the Northwestern vs. Mich game....CRAZY weather...but awesome win. :)
Blast from the past! Patrick and Mike! HS buds, plus of course Alex and Ally. Thanks Ally for always throwing sweet NYE parties. :)
And of course, a summary of the year, can't be complete without one more final thing:
<3

Ok done procrastinating. Papers, watch out.

Truth

Is it possible to have total, absolute truth?

What is knowledge but a set of ideas that someone else came up with because they based it off someone else's set of ideas, who based it off of someone else's ideas, who based it off of....

Are our attempts at creating notions of unbiasedness, of scientific objectivity, an exercise in futility? Every person, in speaking, thinking, creating, communicating, imparts on their creation apart of themselves. How naive are we to think that there can be some ideal, some "ideal type" as Weber calls it, of truth?

If truth, then, is a spectrum, who has the rigtht to judge what is "more true" and "less true"? Is who we deem has the right a reflection of our values in society?

Let's be a little more concrete here: Medicine. Who's account of a person's condition is more "true"? The doctor's diagnosis, or the patient's story? If within the discourse between doctor and patient during consultation results in an agreement of outcome, is that the ultimate "truth" that should be considered? If they happen to disagree, is it the patient's prerogative to believe in their truth, or the doctor's? Should we judge quality of healthcare based on happiness and satisfaction of the patient, or the seemingly "unbiased" diagnosis of the doctor? What gives the doctor, or the patient, the right to claim "truth"?

If objectivity is an exercise in futility, then is it the process towards objectivity that is important? However, if objectivity, or truth, is not even an achievable consequence, then is the process, the procedure, the pathway towards a perceived objectivity even worth trying?

It's a paradox really: my questions beg the truth, even though I claim there is no such thing.

**side note**
We're reading Foucault in theory, and studying medical research in Health and Aging. I can't help that these things are tossing and turning in my head. Haha. Maybe a real personal update should be coming up next. I do need to get in the habit of posting. Sorry for taking so long!

Collective Effervescence

I have to say, never have I been more proud to be an American. I feel like its really shocking for me to say this, since I've never defined myself as an "American" (side effect of living overseas), and have always felt comfortable to observe patriotism from a distance. I don't have strong political leanings either way, and am wary towards anyone with a strong fervor for their nation. But tonight...I don't think that anyone can deny the magnitude of what happened tonight.

What I just experienced was more powerful than any political figure, any piece of legislation, anything political. Tonight I feel like something transformed the political, and made it real.

Tonight I felt the spirit of hope and change. It sounds cheesy, I know, but I don't think I can compare what I felt tonight with anything else. People spontaneously rushing through the streets, waving the American flag, singing the Star Spangled Banner, hugging, kissing, and crying with everyone around them, honking their horns, shouts of "YES WE CAN"....to be a complete sociologist at the moment--a true vision of collective effervescence.

And then hearing, that this was happening everywhere. This is not a phenomenon that was isolated in the little liberal town of Ann Arbor...it was in Chicago, in Dallas, even all around the world! That a single man, and a single hope for change, can unite so many people, cut across all strata...what an amazing power...

Nobody thought it would happen. And look at tonight. Look at what this inspired. Think about all the possibilities. If we can harness this feeling, this hope, this optimism, perhaps that is the answer to all of our troubles.

I can post about so much more (the speech, the votes, the progression of the day), but I really just want to leave with one thought.

Think of all the possibilities.

Yes We Can.

Inspiration

coming back from dance rehearsal today I all of a sudden felt very inspired. There are just certain songs, movement, emotions, that really move me. I am so grateful to still be dancing and that dancing is still the medium through which I get my release.

When I got home, I just felt the need to let energy out. I just turned on the music and let it carry me. It's been a long time since I've done this, and it really felt so good. I watched the above video again--I must have watched this video 100 times over the summer; it just got me. That a feeling so raw and emotional can be conveyed visually like that is just amazing.

I just sometimes have to remember that that is what it is: a release. Dance is supposed to be the fun part of my life. Once I start getting my head wrapped around logistics and performance and reasons for dancing, I think I lose sight of the ultimate point of dance. I dance because the music and emotion move me to...not to prove something to other people, to be in the spotlight, to perform, or to get ahead. I've stuck with dance (and not theatre) because it has always been that medium through which I gain clarity.

I'm just grateful, happy, and inspired to dance. I hope that never changes.